Inspired by a trip on a taxi-brousse with a criminal.
Dear man across from me, how are you? No, I'm sorry, that is a terrible way to start what I hope will be a pleasant and enlightening imaginary exchange. I can easily tell by the way your eyes and lips are set that today is not panning out. Of course, there are those uncomfortable handcuffs. Did the officers really need to tie them behind you? After all, you are about to spend five hours in a van. Plus, you are sitting directly opposite me and, between your knee in my groin and the smell of your breath I am already uneasy. Maybe you could politely ask to be cuffed in front?
Then again, you are directly opposite from me and the handcuffs allow me to deduce that politeness is not a strong suit. Why exactly are you being escorted by two jovial officers? Do they give you a phone call? A lawyer? Why the life of crime? I'm sorry, these questions are just tumbling out of me. Or, they would be, but there's the language barrier again. Where do I even begin? This is such a tremendous opportunity for cultural exchange. Don't you agree? And here I am thinking about running my mouth...
Ah..., no, you don't. No, I understand. Yes, sleeping is a much wiser choice. Before you completely give in to exhaustion though, might I ask that in the event that you do get car sick to remember there is a window. A mess like you throwing up on me would just create one of those even messier cascading effects.
Thanks for your time and, uh....wow, I really don't know how to end this hypothetical exchange. Sweet dreams?
Theo
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